Funny Voice Mail Greeting #1:

“Be advised, the person whose voice you hear is not actually speaking to you as you listen on the other end of the line.  I captured the sound of my voice by using digital recording technology, and you can use that same method to say something to me, which I will hear later when I check this message. This is a proactive step I've taken in anticipation of the possibility that people may call me at times when I am not near the phone.”