Why do we act so polite in public?

Why do we act so polite in public and so impolite at home with out loved ones?  I think it's easy to understand.

We all feel good or bad about ourselves depending on the way we see ourselves reflected in other people's responses to us.  The people you live with already know you are an asshole, but the new people you meet in public may come to think of you as an excellent person. 

 When you meet new people, you can make an impression as that person you envision yourself to be, and you can actually experience yourself as that excellent person. 


At home, though, the best you can hope for is to impress people enough for them to say, "Hey, I wonder what's gotten into him... he has not been acting like an asshole so much lately."

Times when lying seems okay:

When the truth sounds like a ridiculous excuse.

When someone is trying to kill you.

When you get caught in a previous lie and need to weave a sticky web.

When the person you are talking to is being unreasonable (i.e. see #2).

When people are pressuring you to do something

With regard to this last item on the list, an example would be a situation in which your family wants you to practice a particular religion -- the Hatian religion "VouDou," for example.  Or if that is a bad example, consider a situation in which your elders believe that the computer is the devil and that if you use it you are the devil.  In both examples, people are pressuring you about something.  In a perfect world, you would be able to tell them to knock it off, snap out of it.  However, in the real world it may cause you a lot of difficulty if you insist on telling unreasonable people the truth. Maybe you are willing to work with them and help them to be reasonable, but you should not be obligated to do so in every damn situation that turns unreasonable.