What You Want to BE vs. What you Want to DO

I figured out that the opposite of veterinary medicine is breeding. I always complain that kids too often are motivated toward a career in vet medicine because they love animals, but alas, they end up snipping balls and administering euthanasia. So, vet medicine is a perfect example of a field that represents what a kid thinks she wants to BE, but not necessarily what she wants to DO every day at work.

But for that kind of person, how about breeding great animals? You let them screw each other. I hear they do most of the work, too; for example, a dog-mom will eat all the afterbirth and umbilical cord, so you don't even have to clean it.

So... animal lovers should breed expensive pets. Maybe. It might be a great, efficient way to make money.

Be Flexible with the Structure of Your Writing.

Don't write a paper based on an outline. Why set yourself up to go on a scavenger hunt?  Following an outline when writing your paper takes away your ability to be spontaneous.  It's for people who don't know writing is an art form.

When I write, I begin with a sentence, and then a paragraph takes form as I explain what it means and provide some examples, maybe throw in a quotation, etc. The paragraphs appear on the page like puzzle pieces.

Use cut/paste to rearrange the paragraphs in an excellent order.  After you put the paragraphs in an excellent order, you can "glue" them all together by adding nice transitions. You can add a few transitions by following this three-step process:

1. Sometimes, it is good to begin a paragraph with a sentence that includes an important word or phrase from the previous paragraph.
2. That sentence above has a lot of information, but it's all you need to know to write good transitions, so I'll repeat it right here:
3. Sometimes, it is good to begin a paragraph with a sentence that includes an important word or phrase from the previous paragraph.

So, be flexible, and do not make yourself follow an outline.  And do not try to write your thesis statement before you write the paper.  You can only make an intelligent thesis statement AFTER writing the paper.  Writing the paper is the process that educates you about the subject and makes you QUALIFIED to make a thesis statement about it, so write your introduction and thesis statement last, after the whole paper is finished.

:-)

Funny Voice Mail Greeting #1:

“Be advised, the person whose voice you hear is not actually speaking to you as you listen on the other end of the line.  I captured the sound of my voice by using digital recording technology, and you can use that same method to say something to me, which I will hear later when I check this message. This is a proactive step I've taken in anticipation of the possibility that people may call me at times when I am not near the phone.” 

Biblical Inerrancy

I think people who believe in biblical inerrancy are not being honest with themselves. Are all translations inerrant?  More importantly, is my own interpretation of what I read inerrant?  Is my minister's interpretation inerrant? Words are symbols arranged into meaningful patterns, and the transmission of ideas via language is an abstract process.  Inerrancy is impossible when words are being used.

Why do we act so polite in public?

Why do we act so polite in public and so impolite at home with out loved ones?  I think it's easy to understand.

We all feel good or bad about ourselves depending on the way we see ourselves reflected in other people's responses to us.  The people you live with already know you are an asshole, but the new people you meet in public may come to think of you as an excellent person. 

 When you meet new people, you can make an impression as that person you envision yourself to be, and you can actually experience yourself as that excellent person. 


At home, though, the best you can hope for is to impress people enough for them to say, "Hey, I wonder what's gotten into him... he has not been acting like an asshole so much lately."

Times when lying seems okay:

When the truth sounds like a ridiculous excuse.

When someone is trying to kill you.

When you get caught in a previous lie and need to weave a sticky web.

When the person you are talking to is being unreasonable (i.e. see #2).

When people are pressuring you to do something

With regard to this last item on the list, an example would be a situation in which your family wants you to practice a particular religion -- the Hatian religion "VouDou," for example.  Or if that is a bad example, consider a situation in which your elders believe that the computer is the devil and that if you use it you are the devil.  In both examples, people are pressuring you about something.  In a perfect world, you would be able to tell them to knock it off, snap out of it.  However, in the real world it may cause you a lot of difficulty if you insist on telling unreasonable people the truth. Maybe you are willing to work with them and help them to be reasonable, but you should not be obligated to do so in every damn situation that turns unreasonable.

Publish a blog about my parents?

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When fading into obscurity just won't do....
Consider biography therapy!

It can be therapeutic to see acknowledgment of one's good deeds:

• Why not publish a few pages about dad's gifts to the family, his sacrifices and efforts?
• Or you can publish a few pages about mom's success in her professional field -- the lessons she teaches with her way of living.

Let us create a brilliant presentation based on what you tell us about mom or dad, and we will even help you publish it to the Internet on a web page dedicated to your family.

The DoctorMyDocument Biography Project

How to win an argument with a loved one

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There is a trick to winning an argument against a loved one: Realize that the person with whom you seem to be arguing is not your real opponent.  Your real opponent is a Relationship Demon, an invisible entity that tricks you and your loved ones into destroying one another.

How can you dispel the illusion? Look deeply into the argument that is taking place and see whether you are actually in disagreement about a particular issue.  If two intelligent people have different opinions about a particular issue, they should be able to use good communication to weigh the advantages of each option and decide on a course of action. Just be logical, and if you really can't decide then just give in, because you love this person so what the hell.  And if it is so important that you cannot give in, then you will have to make a subtle manipulation.  But there is never any reason to keep hurting each other with argument.

Usually, what happens is not even that complicated.  Most arguments involve two people who think they are disagreeing when they actually are not.  Two people comment on a particular topic, and then the Relationship Demon tricks them into thinking the two things they said are mutually exclusive when they actually are not.  It's like this:

We go to the park, and I say, "The birds are singing."
You say, "Um, actually, the grass is green."

And neither of us got any validation for what we have said, so we just devolve into total idiots as the demon's spell takes effect:

I say, "What do you mean the birds are not singing?"
And you say, "I don't know where you are getting your information, but what I said is definitely true."
And I say, "Oh my god I can't believe you are so stupid," because I can actually still hear the birds singing, so it is ridiculous for us to even be arguing about this.
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Relationship demons are very tricky.  When they are in the room with you and your significant other, you might agree 80% about something and disagree 20%, but the demon makes it so that you can only be aware of the part that is disagreement.

Here is a trick for winning an argument with a loved one. First, explain to her or him about the relationship demon and how it is playing a trick on you both. Then, use the following three steps:

1. Try to identify, as many times as possible, the parts of her argument that you can accept and validate. 
2. If you get the opportunity, the greatest thing you can do is admit you were wrong about some aspect of the argument.  Do that, and you gain a kind of invincibility against the demon.
3. Try to express in a sentence what you seem to be disagreeing about, and invite your loved one to correct the sentence if it seems wrong.  

After you agree on a sentence that expresses the disagreement, be logical together until the demon is dead. You'll know it is dead when you feel warmth toward one another instead of negative emotions.

Writer's Block

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People use the term "writer's block" when they want to complain about not being able to get inspired for a writing project. Actually, it is not specific to writing; a musician, painter, or any other kind of artist can feel blocked.

The energy of inspiration can be felt by the reader if it is present in the paragraph. I don't know how it happens, but it does. I had it when I wrote the first sentence of this paragraph, and if you reread the sentence you can feel it a little. When you have the energy of inspiration, rhythmic sentences spill out of the mind naturally.

"For score and seven years ago..."
"What a marvelous night for a moondance..."
"Absence makes the heart grow fonder..."

Some sentences have that energy. You know when you have them. Write them down. And do not pretend you can force them to come if you feel blocked. Work with your words even though you are blocked, but do not let any uninspired words appear in your final draft.

And never revise inspired words out of your writing project to accommodate a change you are making. The inspired words are the most important.

Another way to infuse a project with inspiration is to make it a collaborative project. Like music played by a band instead of a soloist, collaborative writing compounds the energy it creates. You can send your project to my inspired colleagues at DoctorMyDocument and let us add our own touch of inspiration with the $40 trial.

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